WHAT DISSOLUTION TO FEAR

Tags

absurdism, Consciousness, existential, Humanity, identity, meaning, Metaphysical, philosophical, physics, poem, poetry, wordpla

WHAT DISSOLUTION TO FEAR?

School’s shut
leaving me
in a philosophical vacuum

a nebula of molecules separated
by oceans of emptiness

like they pumped all
the oxygen out, all
the hydrogen, nitrogen,
methane, chlorine, and
every inert gas

and so I tell myself
my name is not Gogo
I am
more than
pure space, simple
intellectual abstraction

my molecules, in theory,
according to the theoretical model,
smeared
all over the place

by the weakest of
forces
held together

free to
skip class, play
truant

wander
all over the place

leaving me nothing
one of
the
99%

who look up
to the rest

covet such lives
of substance and stability

and yet
everything to
fight for

from
humanity
detached

and same it is, but different, with
these words on the page
(once — no, not really — words
in my mouth)

nothing solid there — all relation and
difference, symbol and
myth making

those old stories recycled
you’ve heard them before, wired
into your brain

layer upon layer
perhaps this is how air
how
breath contrives meaning

like
folded origami (suddenly shape
and dimension)
like
weapon of hierarchy in
folded samurai
steel

and I have, if you would bear with me, tried
folding
this page, these words, that

they might
fill my space, create
fiction of being

that you and I
could buy into

paradoxically, our life-stuff to clear
distinct to us
when most merged
most near

and with this
softest assurance

what
dissolution to fear?

DARKNESS POEMS

Tags

darkness, death, emptiness, Evil, negative, poem, poetry

DARKNESS POEMS

ROLLER

I took a roller to
my life’s story

so every scene
could fade to gray

dark gray, light gray
forget the fifty
when it comes
to gray there
are but
two shades only

everything just
a reconfiguring
of life’s single binary:
your
triumphant humanity
of the good, truth and
beauty

versus mine of failure
self-deception and pain

***

LAST POEM

they tried
to save
my last poem
but it
did not

want
to be saved
tried
to escape

but was caught
and burnt
for being
insufferable

(I too
feeling
the
glorious
horror
of
fire

as it
went up in flames)

***

DARKNESS POEM

I stumbled into a deep
and terrible darkness

most people
cannot fathom
and yet it is there

a darkness fit
for Styx or
the Stygian premise
that is Tartarus

down through the innermost
regions of Hades to
that place where
evil is singularity
rages
out of control

rips the black wings off ravens
to colour the sky as is befitting
with their
blood
and black feathers

the sky that is
perfect as
expression

of hopelessness
and pain

***

TAKE

take everything you gave me
all the good, the bad
and the really bad

strip me down to nothingness
where there is nothing to
say, nothing to feel

no words to utter
just the
revelation
of a
nihilism
that nothing can answer

***

Mr 9mm

Mr 9mm sidled up to me
started to speak
at point blank
range

enunciated all
the key points of difference
between myself
and the world

when it came to
matters of
belief, philosophy and ideology

no gainsaying that position
countering that argument

***

ZERO PEOPLE

they are the
zero happiness ones

God created them so
you might feel good
about yourself

easy now to
think
there but
for the grace
go I

truth being
they don’t really suffer
after you
have drawn
the important life
lesson about
being grateful
you are
quite at liberty to
dispose of them
gently, euphemistically,
or, as is
way more fun,
with flamethrowers, icepicks,
chainsaws or sawn-off shotguns

for when it comes
to any reasonable definition
of humanity
they are
hardly to be
considered people

are more like those old
clunky cathode-tube androids
from that low-tec science fiction
film and Tv from
the 1950s

born into lives
without love
it is
really a species
of highest, most
caring mercy
to end their suffering
any way you like

ROACH SONG

Tags

entropy, poem, poetry

ROACH SONG

we love
entropy

thus
the roaches sang

have feeling for
things that fray,
begin to disintegrate

do our best to confound
things that
in their granite or
marble
solidity
attempt to defeat the
logic of time

for see
how easy this Roman stone
yields to crevice
succumbs to cracks

much to
our convenience

the language of
high and absolute code
and legal exaltation

reduced to the poor and
dissolute, talk of
garbage heap and
dingy kitchen

word of the sordid
most human of flesh

thus
with this

their song
ended

(false note
from our
critical, limited perspective

lack of
sphere truth and
cosmic harmony

sung in
their full-throated love
of decay
dissipation

final
ending and
slow entropy)

DEVOID

Tags

absurdism, existential, nihilism, poem, poem poetry political moral, poetry, Value and meaning

DEVOID

in the abyss
in the space
devoid of
anything

I thought I would
expand, explode, envelop,
inseminate
sow my seed across
the firmament
and that seed in turn
sew everything together

but no, I shrank, imploded,self-
deconstructed
crumpled under my
own gravity, my mass, my weight

down to
the size of a pea
and then
far tinier

an atom
in a nutshell
big as
a Universe to me

FAT BOY

Tags

Ending, entropy, media, philosophical, poem, poem poetry political moral, poetry, satire

FAT BOY

tide is out
the boom
gone
flatulent

stuck between
gears freethinking
freewheeling

just got to
spit-balling about
the usual
binaries between
good and bad

figured
it’s the winking, blinking
lights you have to
worry about

as opposed to
those that being
constant
prove
an example
to us all

tall boy
I’m telling you
you got to get
back to
first principles

the boomers and their boom
got nothing more
to say
they all finished now

started to
feel the pressure
turned
to compression

something nasty, short and
selfish about their
former cosmic selves

it’s the winking lights and
Doppler sirens

indexes of world gone
wrong, gone
shot to hell

the roads gridlocked
arteries blocked
penitentiaries and
correction centers
full to overflowing

sky
gone cirrhosis
bad
blue liver
colour

TV on fast forward
gone 360 head-spin full surreal

political power to
demolish like quarter pounder plus donut

got to
scan and mail

my plea bargain

ask for immunity
on my knees

WHEN I RETURNED

Tags

BREXIT, Britain, British, decline, Empire, Ending, entropy, poem, poetry, Postcolonial, postmodern

WHEN I RETURNED
“entrenched and calcifying
class stratifications”
Gary Younge

when I returned
everything was crumbling
but not in that happy
melt-in-the-mouth sort of way

a land of
broken statues

historical memories
grown ever more painful
with each passing year

once this
machine worked

once it ran on ahead
outstripped the pack
at full steam

but now how bleak
how dour
cement coloured skies
divulging near toxic rain

that somehow, magically,
stays within official limits
and so no one gets sick
no
discernible ailments

and there the images
that once rejuvenated
reminded us of
the great musical hall and
other popular traditions
feeding into
the great Beatlesque
transformations of identity

anarchy in the late 70s
along those stone cobbled streets
where my grandad
returned from war with
dream of starting a family

chipped, cracked
whose face is that
did they ever see this Britain, this
England coming

not just rejuvenated, but
rising from the dead
(form an
all-star dead rock band
with John and Jimmy and George
and Mary and Percy
who wrote such blistering
odes in mode
of truth to power)

but now
not a whimper of
that poetry

cannot call it
a wasteland because it’s all
too hypothetical, digital and
completely plasticated

no memory of
what went blitz as it
streaked across
the channel

what went bang and

what Guy Fawkes cracker could

remove every stone, every blade
of grass
the name of every city

those names whose esteemed truth you cling to
when theIr failures shone brighter
than the brightest searchlight

why we
need the darkness

for their
power to grow
and grow

empirically, imperially, universally,
exponentially

until the
bubble burst

so fatally
expand

BITS

Tags

Alien, cannibalism, Desire, Humanity, hunger, identity, loneliness, love, poem, poetry, science fiction, transformation, Twist in the tail, Universe, woman

BITS

So long on
the planet

have begun to

think
like the planet

look
like the planet

mountains of alien
thrusting up
through my
flesh as
new landscape
takes place

which brings me to
my humanity, species
that needs company

and thought of
my hunger, my loneliness

whether I need partner
for love or
just
to
chop into bits.

SICK SONNET

Tags

Beckett, disintegration, Ending, entropy, poem, poetry

SICK SONNET

Here’s the premise for a story
two people in bed
falling to bits

the people: man, woman
married couple
not the bed

the bed is OK

but the people
unable to die, unable to love,
unable to sleep

straight out of a novel
or play by
Samuel Beckett
without the literary refinement.

CREATURE

Tags

apocalyptic, Censorship, Creativity, Frankenstein monster, Humanity, identity, mass politics, mob, poem, poem poetry political moral, Poet, poetry, power, psychological

CREATURE

I am a creature
of rhythm
and rhyme
no longer
fit into
your paradigm
which has shifted,
turned
from Sun to
Moon
from place
of fire to
dark, cold crater
(on side that
never sees
the Earth)

and worse,
I suspect my difference
means you
must kill if
you catch me

and so, already running but
will you hunt me?
I look for torches but
of course there are
none

that you
no longer see, are
stumbling in darkness
does not mean
you are not coming

your true meaning
always in form of
mob or
possee

herein alone your
sense of certainty

as I
leave words to
hide
and reveal my trail

DELICIOUS

Tags

death, fish, Global warming, horoscope, Humanity, meaning, mythology, Nazi, philosophical, poem, poem poetry political moral, Poet, poetry, postmddern, poverty, power, Reader, satire, sea, simulation, South Africa, spiritual, Universe, Water, Water power astrological, wordplay, writing

DELICIOUS
(at Ocean Basket, 6/6/2019)

depression
recession
world heading back
to the 30s

I eat my designer
fish and chips whilst
the world goes crazy
channeling inner fascist
like some
scab on the planet

it’s my day for reading
birth charts and
you are all
Scorpio Capricorn Scorpio

so deep water sign and
high mountain goat we go
whilst the Universe
simulates whim, cons as
if capricious

so much to write about but
the pen seems hardly willing, battling
undertow, inertia
up in the clouds you
know it
is death zone but
the age pulls this trick
that there
is no spiritual narrative
may not be
a summit

one falls into space when
opening up to expectation

see: the pen
has written something

and the fish
is delicious